My mom was in town all last week and it was wonderful! Grace has a very fussy period during the evening so having another pair of hands around was very helpful. She is sleeping pretty well at night thanks to this - it truly has been a miracle for us! She is sleeping about three hours before waking up at night and for the most part I can get her to go back to sleep after nursing during the night. Although last night she was wide awake after our 3am feeding!

Yesterday was my first real day alone! B left for out of town training yesterday morning and will be back on Friday. My pediatrician suggested trying gripe water to help with her fussy times (which at times can be most of the day!) I don't know if it was the gripe water or her being exhausted from screaming most of the day Sunday - but yesterday went pretty well. She was only fussy from 8-10:30 last night.

My mother-in-law comes into town today to help for the rest of the week. I am so grateful for all of the help! I don't know how I am going to do it when B deploys.

Home Alone

Yesterday was B's first day back to work. The day went pretty well - I even got a shower and a walk at the park in. Today has been a little more challenging but I have a sleeping baby now (even if it took an hour car ride to get her there!) so I am happy.

Has anyone ever heard of getting vertigo after delivery? Last Friday - a week and a half after Grace was born - I thought I was coming down with a stomach virus with upset stomach, dizziness, etc. I called the doctor and they confirmed a stomach virus going around and I was more susceptible because of being post partum. That night the dizziness got so bad I fell several times - which scared the hell out of B and I. Now the dizziness stayed and the other symptoms have pretty much gone away. I am not dizzy every day but when I am, I can't shake it. I am hoping this is just a hormonal issue that will work its way out versus actual vertigo which from what I understand has no cause or cure. Awesome.

If anyone has any advice on the vertigo I would love to hear it. Thanks!

She is here!

Grace was born at 1:01am Wednesday, September 24th weighing in at 5 lbs 12 oz and 17.5 inches long. My water broke on the way to the doctor's office 3 days before my due date. We are so in love with her! Here are some pictures:

Cold + 33 Weeks Pregnant =

Peeing on myself. Oy! I never thought at 31 one of my biggest concerns throughout the day would be sneezing and immediately peeing my pants. Even panty liners haven’t completely solved this problem. I have taken to wearing black pants and crossing my legs really hard whenever the urge to sneeze strikes – a little awkward if I sneeze while walking.

Our kitchen is still a disaster zone! B has done an amazing job ripping out the current tile and laying the slate tile we picked out. He should be done with the tile by the end of the week, paint over the weekend, and hopefully schedule the cabinets / countertops to be delivered next week or the week after. Once the cabinets/countertops are in we can start moving the contents of the cabinets/countertops from the nursery to the kitchen. Then we can move the extra bedroom furniture out of the nursery and actually move the nursery into the nursery (which is currently in the basement)!

I can’t believe that my due date is less than 7 weeks away!

Kitchen

Before B left for deployment we decided to renovate our kitchen. The reason being that we HATE our tile – glossy white tile (with hunter green grout!) and dogs do not mix – and the countertops are old white formica-type that are just cheap looking. We will be getting new cabinets, granite counterops, tile floors, and a new paint color.

This is what the kitchen looked when we first moved in (there are now pictures on the wall and blinds on the window):




We decided to use an Amish guy that several of our friends have used. They warned us that he does not work on what we would consider normal timeframes – more he does not work on timeframes period. We have two friends that have used him and while his work was beautiful, he was significantly behind schedule on both projects.

This was not a problem for us because we couldn’t do anything until B came home from deployment. I started talking to the guy in April – explaining what we want, having him come measure, etc. We decided on an August 15th deadline (knowing that our friends said to give a 2-3 week grace period on that deadline).

They are only doing our cabinets and countertops – B is doing the demolition of old cabinets/countertops, ripping up/retiling the floor, and painting. B started ripping up the tile a few nights ago. I had a message this morning that they are ready to install the cabinets tomorrow!

This is what our kitchen floor currently looks like:

– and we can’t use the beautiful hardwoods under the crappy tile because the idiots that put the tile in ruined it!

Holy hell!

Congratulations to Kristen! She had her beautiful baby boy on Saturday!

-and-

Congratulations to Geohde on the birth of her twins!

-and-

Congratulations to Road Blocks and Roller Coasters on the birth of her beautiful baby girl!

Whirlwind

I am now 31 weeks! You think I would be used to pregnancy by now, but I am still shocked about 50% of the time when I pass by a mirror and see my profile.

It has been so hectic since B returned from deployment. Poor guy barely had time to adjust to the time zone change and the gigantic wife before all hell seemed to break loose.

July 18 – My parents, sister-in-law, and his mom arrive in town for the baby shower. That is 6 people in our very small, 3 bedroom home.

July 19 – Baby shower and my 31st birthday. The shower was wonderful. Everyone was so thoughtful and generous. B damn near had a heart attack when we unloaded all of the loot! :)

July 20 – All of our houseguests head home. Then about 9pm we find that my grandmother (mom’s mom) passed away earlier that evening. She was 87 and in okay health, but told my aunt earlier in the week that she was ready to go be with my grandfather.

July 21 – Wake up around 2 am with horrible back pain. Over the next few hours I try everything – walk, change beds, change positions, read a book to take my mind off of it – but nothing helps. Somewhere in there I throw up twice. Around 5:30 call the on-call doctor who tells me to go to labor & delivery triage because she is worried about kidney stones. After 5 hours and tons of tests we find out that I have a kidney infection. I am now a little worried about labor because that was the worst pain I have ever been in – and it was just an infection!

July 23 – 26 – Fly to Wyoming for my grandmothers’ funeral. I am so glad my doctor allowed me to go. I felt I really needed to be there, not just for me but for my mom as well. I am also so thankful that B was back so he could be here with me. Even though I know my grandmother went peacefully and is now with my grandfather, it is still so hard to lose a loved one. We are using her name, Rosemary, as our little girl’s middle name.

We both hope that the next few weeks are uneventful!

He is Home!

B is finally home! I am so happy. The look on his face was priceless when he saw my belly. He kept rubbing it and staring at it all night. He felt her move a few hours after he got home. It was amazing! She didn't move for him right away (I think he thought she might move on command :) ) But after we ate dinner she started her usual gymnastics and he was able to feel and see the movement.

He has already put together the crib and bookshelf - although both are still in our basement. This weekend is my baby shower and our parents will all be staying with us...in our very small house. We decided to wait on dismantling our second extra bedroom and turning it into the nursery until after this weekend.

I can't tell you how happy and relieved I am that he is home!

Thanks again for your support and words of encouragement during his deployment.

I'm back - again

I feel like I am always apologizing for my lack of blogging. Things have been going very well with the pregnancy. Our baby girl is continuing to grow – and so is her momma! Every time I start writing a post it seems to end up going in the same direction – me whining about missing my husband or worrying that something is going to happen to him while he is deployed.

I know this is ridiculous, but I didn’t want to actually put those words out there out of fear that it would jinx us and something would actually happen to him. I am going to chalk that one up to pregnancy hormones, even though if I am honest with myself I would probably do the same thing if I wasn’t pregnant. Towards the end of his deployments I always get so worried. Now my worries are doubled.

In my rational moments – and I promise I do have them – I know everything will be okay, that he will be home soon safe and sound. It is just hard to imagine him back at home. So much has changed in the few months he has been gone. I worry about him being overwhelmed when he comes home. I also worry, as any woman probably would, about what he is going to think when he sees me. It’s not that I think I look bad or that my husband is shallow. It’s just that I have changed so much and I just wonder how it is all going to work. I have been sending him pictures of my belly along the way so he won’t be too shocked. But he has said even seeing the pictures it is hard to imagine what it will actually be like to see me in person.

He should be home in the next few weeks. I am nervous and also very, very excited to see him. I can’t wait for him to feel our baby kicking!

I also feel like I am always saying this – but I am keeping up with everyone’s blogs. I may be a few days beyond at time as I’ve been swamped at work, but I am still keeping up.

21 weeks

I had my last appointment at the high risk doctor. We graduated back to my regular OB! Yay! Baby girl’s heart looked beautiful. I was just in awe watching the screen. She weighs 14 oz and was squirming around like a mad-woman. I still haven’t felt her move yet, but I know it will be happening sometime soon and can’t wait.

They even switched over to 3D to take some pictures for my husband. I thought that was really sweet and B definitely enjoyed them. He called this morning right after I scanned the pictures so I was able to listen to his reaction when he opened them.

Now I just need to get him back home! Less than 2 months to go!

Here is a picture from the ultrasound:


And one of me at 21 weeks. B requested an updated belly picture and promptly called to ask me if I was sticking out my gut. My reply: No jackass, that is the way my belly actually looks. :) Serious hole-digging-out immediately followed.

Our dog wanted to show off his profile too. You can't see the other dog - she is hiding behind the big dog, but is also showing her profile.

Results - Part II

The amnio came back completely normal. And she is still a little girl! For some reason I kept thinking they were going to tell me that she was a boy. Not sure why because I don’t have any maternal instincts telling me that she is a he. I just thought boy because my husband is the oldest of 4 kids – 3 of which are boys – and all of his cousins are boys.

We are just happy to finally know. That wait took forever – or at least it felt like it did! I was so relieved to finally be able to tell B that I heard from the doctor. I was scared that he might not be paying complete attention to what he was doing if the test was weighing on his mind.

Thanks again for all of the support!

My mom and I completed our first mini-marathon last weekend! It took us 3 hours and 3 minutes. Rain was forecasted but it held off and the overcast sky helped keep the temperature down. All in all it was a great day and I am really proud that we finished.

This is a picture of us at the finish line. My mom thinks it looks like we are toasting our bananas. :)


And here are the pictures from my ultrasound last week:

Profile shot:


It’s a Girl:



5 toes:



It should only be a week until I get the results back from the amnio.

It's a ...

GIRL! B was right and I was wrong. So much for mother's intuition. :)

The Level II showed no physical abnormalities and showed a beautiful, but very squirmy, girl with 10 fingers and 10 toes (they counted!). There was a spot on her heart which required an amnio. They want to see me back in 4 weeks to make sure everything is still progressing well. From what I understand the spot is a marker for Downs, but is not something that will affect the baby (Downs or not) and will not require any type of medical attention. For this we are very relieved.

I will post pictures of our precious little girl tomorrow. Thanks again for all of the support!

Appointment Scheduled

First of all I want to thank everyone for your support. It really does means a lot to me. The appointment is scheduled for Thursday at 10 and will include a Level II ultrasound, doctor consultation and amniocentesis, if I chose this option. I honestly have no idea what to do about the amniocentesis – B wants me to get it so that we can know for sure and we can be prepared (my doctor says the ultrasound will only cut our chances by 50%). He told me he will be fine with whatever I chose after hearing the risks and recommendations of the specialist. This is when deployment really sucks. We are very blessed that we are able to talk and email on a frequent basis – but he can’t be here to listen to all the information and help make decisions.

I am starting to feel overwhelmed. Not with this situation, but just in general. I know I am not even halfway through the pregnancy but I already feel behind. I haven’t even begun to look at daycares or at cribs or carseats or anything else. This is just not like me. I am a financial analyst so organization and spreadsheets are in my blood! For anything else I would already have spreadsheets made of all things baby – complete with pros and cons and con.sumer re.port information. But I have zilch. And B doesn’t get back from deployment until mid-July, when I will be freaking 28 weeks so obviously I can’t wait for him. Oy!

I realize that in the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal at all. But given the appointment on Thursday and the deployment, this is what I am choosing to focus on right now. You think I would choose to focus on something more pleasant – and I really am focusing on those things like how much I love being pregnant and watching my belly grow and how much I am looking forward to my parents visit – but this crap is just nagging the hell out of me. Okay, I think I am down with my rant now. :)

Results

My triple test screening came back abnormal. The doctor called with the news yesterday. It is never good to hear a doctor’s voice on the phone - the nurse originally told me “no news is good news” and instructed me to call in a week to get my results. Based on the test our baby has a 1 and 19 chance of having Downs Syndrome. I understand that there are a lot of false positives – my doctor even stressed that fact several times on the phone. I also understand that while a 1 and 19 chance sounds high (the “abnormal” range begins at 1 and 270) the actual math tells me that the chance is only 5%, and that is IF the test is not a false positive to begin with.

All that being said, hearing the news was very scary for me. I am waiting for the specialist’s office to call to schedule the Level II ultrasound and consult. My parents are going to come up from Florida to be with me so at least I won’t be alone. B is having a hard time being so far away and not being able to physically be here with me while we wait. We are not as scared about having a Downs diagnosis, we just want to hear that everything is okay with the baby (in our eyes “okay” includes receiving a Downs diagnosis).

I told B that I decided to look at this as having another peek at our baby – maybe finding the sex out earlier than planned and seeing if the baby has 5 or 6 fingers / toes on each hand / foot (B’s family has at least one child in each generation born with an extra digit!). He agreed that we need to stay positive – now I need to focus on putting this into action!

I know that I will have a Level II ultrasound at the appointment and that they will discuss the results and most likely recommend an amniosintesis. Can anyone give me advice on what to expect at the appointment?

Ramblings and a picture

B asked me to take some belly pictures so he can watch as I grow. I can tell he is having a harder time with this deployment. I miss him so much. I am trying to stay busy with work, friends, and as soon as the weather actually warms up – enjoying the sunshine. It was 34 degrees this morning! Very cold for here this time of year.

Yesterday I started having what I guess are round ligament pains – pains going down the sides of my belly. I also had some sharp pains in my cervix. I don’t know what caused the cervix pain but it has not returned so I am not going to get worried.

My parents are coming up from Florida next weekend. My mom and I are walking in the city half-marathon. I initially started training to run it, but found out I was pregnant about 2 weeks into the training. My work has a great training program set up with weekly group runs/walks on Saturday mornings and individual training during the week. The schedule has definitely helped me stay on track – with the exception of the 5-6 weeks I did nothing athletic besides running to the toilet to puke. I can’t say I am excited about the actual race, but I am really looking forward to completing it with my mom.

This is my 16 week belly picture. B says he can tell my belly has gotten more round since he saw me 2 weeks ago. He also asked if I have had to buy maternity pants yet or if my “muffin top guard” (belly band) was still allowing me to wear my old pants. I thought that was hilarious! :)

16 week appointment

My appointment went well today. The doctor was able to find the heartbeat right away! Yay! What a beautiful sound. I can’t wait to tell B all about – which will probably be a repeat of the email I sent him as soon as I got back from the appointment. I’ve gained 6 pounds so far. All of my bloodwork from last appointment came back problem free. They did take more blood today for the triple test/screening. I think I get to keep all my blood at the next appointment which will be a nice change of pace.

I asked her about the prenatal vitamins. I haven’t been taking them since about 6-8 weeks when I was so sick – instead I switched to flin.stone vitamins. She said I could try to switch back to the prenatals, but to go back to the flin.stone vitamins if they cause any nausea.

I am exhausted now. I tried not to be nervous about the appointment but I couldn’t help it so I didn’t get a good night sleep. I see an early bedtime in my future. Have a great weekend!

I'm still here

B is now deployed. Being alone is so much harder than I expected. I got to talk with him for the first time on Monday night. He sounded good, but could only talk for a few minutes. He has also been able to email me. The emails really help him feel like he is still in the loop back here. Plus they make me feel less isolated from him – so if I forget to ask him / tell him something on the phone I don’t have to wait a week until we talk.

He asked me to take pictures of my belly along the way. I took one last week and was pretty surprised that an actual bump was visible – not really in my work clothes yet, but in just a tank top you can tell something is there (even if it does resemble a beer gut).

I did not want to post until I heard from him. In all honesty I didn’t want to do much of anything, but one of the girls I work with is on her honeymoon so I have been slammed back-filling her as well as doing my job. I was irritated at first but it really was helpful to be busy during the majority of the day.

I think the morning sickness is gone – knock on wood – and I am getting my energy back. I have an appointment on Friday. I can’t believe it has been 4 weeks since I last saw our little one. And I won’t even get a peak this time, unless we have another heartbeat-hearing issue due to the ‘ol tilted uterus. As long as I hear that strong heartbeat I think I will be good (but who am I kidding, I would love an ultrasound!).

Sorry I have been silent for awhile, although I promise I have been keeping up with all of your blogs. Also I have been tagged by k@ourboxofrain and a loooong time ago by Alison (so sorry!). I promise to get to those next week when my co-worker returns from her honeymoon and my workload returns to normal!

Snow

I can't believe it actually snowed here on Easter. The snow didn't stick but it was pretty strange to see. I wish it would warm up - I have Spring Fever big time!

I am officially 13 weeks now! It feels so good to be done with the first trimester. Now if only I could stop puking. Does anyone else seem to get sick after taking prenatal vitamins? I have tried taking them at different times of the day, with food, etc. and nothing seems to work. I've starting taking flin.stone vitamins to at least get some folic acid. I will be calling my doctor tomorrow morning to see about getting a different prescription - maybe that will help.

I made my appointment for the gender ultrasound. It is scheduled for May 12. My mom is going to fly up for it since B will still be deployed. I don't know how I am going to hold out until then without having an ultrasound. I am so used to seeing our little one now. I hope that between now and then my doctor will be able to find the heartbeat using the doppler - tilted uterus and all!

Wimp!

I felt like such a wimp today! For the past two years I have taken a fitness class at work twice a week during lunch. It is a strengthening / toning class so we don’t get too sweaty (although we do have showers, just in case). Since the 4 – 6 week mark my work schedule was just too hectic to make it to class, and then from 7 weeks until now I was either puking, on the verge of puking, or in a meeting during class time … until today. Holy crap did that class kick my butt!

The best part was telling my instructor that I am pregnant. I am 12 weeks now, so I felt comfortable with her telling the class – only 8-10 people and since she has to give me specific instructions at times it made sense. Then I realized telling people is like crack to me!

Only a few people around work knew, but after today I can add a few more to the list. I just love their reactions (thankfully they have all been wonderful). Plus I love the feeling it gives me. Each time I say it, my eyes fill up with tears and I get so darn happy. :)

Tilted Uterus

Apparently I have a tilted uterus. For the most part this doesn't mean anything - unless you are trying to hear the heartbeat on a doppler. I had my first regular OB appointment on Thursday. Everything was going great until she tried finding the heartbeat. My doctor was great - she kept repeating that this early it is sometimes hard to hear on a doppler and she thought she had the "finicky" doppler, etc. After what seemed like forever she decided that while everything was most likely okay, I should probably have an ultrasound for my peace of mind. Bless her!

We had our fourth ultrasound and as always it was amazing. I still can't believe the detail so early - and all of the movement. It was also great because this was the last doctor's appointment B will be able to make before he comes back in July. I am so glad he was able to meet the OB and get a good feeling about their practice.

B is now gone. I dropped him off this morning. He will be in NC for 2 weeks before deploying. Since I will get to see him right before he leaves (hopefully!) I am not freaking out yet - although I am sure that is coming. For now I am just trying to stay busy, which today meant cleaning the closets. :)

More pictures!

After re-reading my post from Monday it is not surprising that I ended up having a meltdown on Monday night. It was not pretty – this meltdown of mine. It was full of snotty sobbing and me gasping for air in between my sobs. Poor B – he took it like a man. He had absolutely no idea what to do – but he did just what I needed him to do and just held me. I felt much better afterwards, not sure I can say the same about B though!

The thing that pushed me over the edge is B will be leaving for deployment earlier than expected. We were hoping that he would be here through the first week of April. I was excited that he would be here for at least part of the much-hyped second trimester good feelings. I will be 13 weeks on 3/22. He leaves on 3/16. Luckily he will still be in the States until the beginning of April (we hope!) just in North Carolina rather than Kentucky. The plan now is for me to visit him the last weekend in March. I am keeping my fingers crossed that he stays state-side long enough for me to visit.

He should be back early-mid July, which means that he will leave when it looks like I have a beer gut and will get back when I am huge! I am going to have to send him a lot of pictures along the way so he doesn’t have a heart attack when he sees me for the first time.

And now for the pictures (10 weeks):




Yay for another great ultrasound! Although I can’t wait until I can stop having them via the dildo-cam.

So Angry!

I am not sure if I have complained about the crappy military insurance on this blog. If not, in a nutshell – it sucks! Even though I am 10 weeks pregnant I had to go to my primary military provider in order to get my pregnancy “confirmed” so that I can graduate from the RE and go back to my regular OB (who is not a military doctor, we live far enough from the base to qualify for a civilian doctor). My RE gave me all the required paperwork to make this transition as seamless as possible.

After a simple pee test confirmed that I was indeed pregnant (thank goodness!) all I had to do was wait to see the “Doctor.” I won’t even go into what a piece of shit doctor she is on a regular basis. Luckily all I have to see her for is referrals.

When the “doctor” comes in she is relived that she doesn’t have to do any real work because all I need is a referral. All she needs to do is write down the date of my last period (12/22) and my expected due date (9/27). Then she asks if I would like to go back to the OB I used last time, since this is my second child. I tried to explain to her that I do not have any children when she rudely cut me off and said that I had been pregnant before.

Gasp! Yes, you read that right. This dumbass did not put two and two together even though it is in the fucking chart! Apparently she thought it was normal for her to refer me to an RE (in June) when I was 8 months pregnant with my first child (due date would have been July). I calmly explained that I miscarried - you’ve never seen someone back out of a room so fast. No “I’m sorry” or anything.

Next I had to go to the referral nurse to get the necessary paperwork that allows me to go back to the OB. This is when I realize that the “Doctor” got the only two things she had to do wrong – she had my last period as February 20 and my due date as 9/23. How in the hell is my due date at 7 months?!

The referral nurse said the dates weren’t the only thing the “Doctor” got wrong. She also had me down as having one pregnancy but no living children. I could not believe I had to have the same fucking conversation again – not two minutes later. I again calmly explained that I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. You think she would say something nice or at least have the decency to keep her mouth shut. Instead she says, oh so then you really don’t have any living children. WTF?!?!

I grabbed my paperwork and got the hell out of there. I mean seriously, I can’t possibly be the first woman to have a miscarriage at this clinic. I now have a name/number to call and complain. I just can’t believe the lack of sensitivity of these people!

I understand that there are many qualified and caring people who work in the military clinics. I just had the unfortunate experience of dealing with a few of the duds.

Good news is I have another ultrasound this afternoon! I can’t wait to see how much he/she has grown!!

Our first pictures!

Yay!

The ultrasound went great! It was amazing to see - especially the heartbeat. We were blown away. Everything is measuring great at 8w1d and the heartbeat was very strong at 171 bpm. I will post a picture tomorrow.

Thank you so much for your positive comments and support. I was so worried going into the ultrasound and I can't express how much your thoughts and words helped.

I am pretty sure I am going to float around on cloud 9 the rest of the day - with only minor stop-offs to puke! :)

Tomorrow

The ultrasound is tomorrow afternoon and I am scared to death. I will be 8 weeks. I am so nervous there won’t be anything to see. Even though I still feel nauseous and my boobs still hurt – both of which I am taking as very positive signs – I can’t help but feel this horrible anxiety.

I had a nightmare over the weekend that I started bleeding. That definitely hasn’t helped the ‘ol anxiety levels. I know there is nothing I can do to change the outcome – I just wish I didn’t have to wait!

I am encouraged by so many recent positive ultrasounds in IF blogland. I hope and pray that we have one too!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

My husband is coming home tonight and I can’t wait to see him! His flight should be in around 5 or 6, so still a little unsure what we are doing for dinner. We will celebrate this weekend – although nothing big, just a nice relaxing dinner out.

On another positive note: it has been more than 24 hours since I last puked! Yay! I still feel very queasy which is okay. I really want to avoid workplace vomiting for as long as I can.

Snow day

I am a wuss – I called the RE nurse this morning to ask if there was anything they could prescribe for the morning sickness. Last night I had another out-of-nowhere puking episode – luckily I was much closer to the bathroom so I made it in time! I feel like such a loser asking for meds after only a week. :)

The nurse just called back and told me to take vitamin b-6 twice a day. She said if that doesn’t help they can call in a prescription, but they make you drowsy and she wants to avoid that.

Even though the constant queasiness and surprise vomiting aren’t making me feel awesome – it does really excite me to think that things are progressing. This is a hard thing to make someone (like my poor husband) understand. He is out of town this week and feels terrible he isn’t here to help me.

Thanks for the suggestions too. I remember reading Katie’s apples story and thinking (1) gross! sorry, Katie! :) (because I couldn't imagine ever having morning sickness), and (2) that was some quick thinking on Katie’s part. From now on I am going to start carrying a few extra bags in my purse and briefcase – just in case. We are snowed in today, so at least I don’t have to worry about any workplace puking for the day!

One more week until the ultrasound! Yay!

Morning sickness strikes

Either that or my subconscious must really hate doing the laundry. I had just eaten breakfast and was starting the laundry. All of the sudden my stomach felt sick and before I could even make it to the stairs (washer/dryer in basement – no bathroom), I threw-up in my hand! It was horrible! I kept running to the bathroom and threw-up a few more times. I have never gotten so sick so fast.

I just hope it doesn’t happen like that at work – my cube couldn’t be further from the bathroom!

Blah

I have a terrible cold which I am blaming on a number of people including my husband, boss, and co-workers. Not that I am innocent since I came back to work today not completely healthy. I don’t have a fever any more, but I do sound like an 80 year-old chain smoker and feel like hell. I would have stayed home but my boss called me yesterday to “check up” on me – which really meant he had a lot of work for me to do in advance of his trip to Europe next week. I will be doing the dance of joy all next week while he is gone!

The RE nurse told me I could take sud.a.fed, rob.out.ssin dm, and ty.len.ol. I was a little hesitant to take anything, but I finally took some sud.a.fed (pseudophedrine free) so I could breathe enough to fall asleep.

Not too much news to report. My boobs are still sore and I may have had my first brush with morning sickness on Tuesday. I say may have because the nauseousness could have been related to the cold – but I going to pretend it was morning sickness anyway. Only an infertile would be glad she almost threw-up at work! I also have a light yellow/greenish color CM. Not sure if this is related but I’ve had it for about a week or two.

My ultrasound is 12 days and we can’t wait!

Reason for the delay

This is what I woke up to yesterday morning:






Still no power and the house is cold as crap! B is out of town on business, so I am staying with friends and the pups are at the vet.

On to my beta:
My beta (on 23 DPO) was 2,658 – it was 437 at 17 DPO. The nurse told me that while my beta didn’t “double, double,” it was about 65% which is their threshold. Obviously I started freaking out. She said that it was okay the beta didn’t “double, double” but that she just wanted to let me know, “you know”. WTF does that mean? Why tell someone who is clearly scared to begin with something like that?

I checked on Beta Base and it looks like my beta is still okay. To add to my freak out, she didn’t want to schedule the ultrasound until 2/28 – freaking 4 weeks away! I tried to get her to move it up but she said that was the earliest they like to perform ultrasounds (which I know is bullshit). I will be 9 weeks by 2/28!

I called back today and talked the receptionist into moving the ultrasound up to 2/19, which still seems late to me. I am okay with it because B will be gone the week before (2/11 – 2/15) and next week might be too early to see the heartbeat.

So only 18 days to go! Oy!

Monday

Two more days until my next beta. I am not the most patient of waiters, but so far I am doing pretty well. From what I understand, this will be my last beta and then maybe an ultrasound next week. The nurse was very vague – she told me that she would call me with my results on Wednesday and give me my next set of instructions then. It sounded so mysterious, like I am some kind of secret agent! :)

My boobs are pretty sore and tingly if that makes sense. Other than that, I feel great. I have been really clumsy lately – and I am not very graceful to begin with so at times it has gotten pretty ridiculous. I am chalking it up to not paying attention to what I am doing because I can’t stop thinking about what might be going on inside my body. Hopefully I will not cause myself or anyone else harm serious harm!

Thanks so much for all the well wishes and support!

A good day

Yay! My beta doubled – actually slightly more than doubled – to 437. According to BetaBase my doubling time was 43.79 hours. I am so excited! I go in for another beta test on Wednesday, 1/30. How am I going to wait that long?!

It was so hard to focus on work today while waiting to hear the results. Now that I have the results, I am too excited to work. I am still cautious, but it is hard for me not to be really optimistic - I’ve never gotten this far before!

B is very excited too. I told him on the phone Tuesday night - and while I was disappointed I didn’t get to see his face, it really was wonderful to hear the excitement in his voice. He has been going back and forth between cautioning me about getting my hopes up too much and talking excitedly about the future. I love seeing him this happy!

Now I am going to try to motivate myself to get something done today.

Test today

Updated:
I just got the call ……. my beta is 211! What a beautiful number! The only beta I ever received in the 21 months we’ve been trying was 14.

I immediately started crying on the phone. The nurse asked me when the insemination was and if it was donor or husband sperm and I couldn’t talk – at all. She seemed a little confused by my crying and then she realized that I was happy, so tears of joy instead of sadness!

B is out of town tonight. I really wish he was here so I could tell him in person, but there is no way that I can keep it from him until he comes home. I wish I could see his face when I tell him.

I go back Thursday morning to make sure my numbers are doubling. I am so excited and nervous and scared and so many other emotions I can’t even describe. So much for getting any work done this week! Thanks for all of your support with the IUI – it really has meant so much to me to have people to turn to with my questions.

And Congratulations to infertility just sucks. She received a wonderful beta yesterday. Yay!


I have a beta test at 11:30 today. That is the latest appointment to get the results back today. I am very nervous about the test, but otherwise I don’t feel anything – imminent period pains or otherwise. My temps are still up – but today is 14 dpiui, which could still be early for my temperature to drop.

I really hope this is it, but at the same time trying not to get my hopes up. Such is life for an infertile I suppose. I will update (with good news hopefully!) as soon as I hear back.

A few questions

We had a wonderful, relaxing weekend which should mean that I am well-rested to start the work week. Unfortunately one of our dogs had an upset stomach during the night. The horrible smell woke me up around 2:30am. It didn’t seem to phase either dog, both of whom thought it was play-time when I got out of bed to clean up the mess (Note: husband was sleeping soundly until the grout scrubbing of poo got too loud for him. Yes, said husband is still alive, but just barely).

B is off work today so at least the pups will get some extra TLC. The only thing I can think of that upset him is we changed their food – but still the same brand, we just switched from weight control (one used to be a fatty) to active dog. We even mixed the new and old food to help with the transition, but I guess we didn’t do it well enough. Our junk-yard dog, Humane Society pup is fine and the purebred that we actually paid money for is sick. Go figure.

Today is 7dpo, 6dpiui. I think I am going to go in for a blood test this time instead of testing at home. Testing just drains me and makes me insane. B is voting for the blood test because he wants proof that everything looks okay before we celebrate and he doesn’t trust hpt’s.

How early can a blood test pick up a positive? Like I said before, my luteal phase is typically 17-20 days – I am not sure if that has anything to do with how early you can get a positive blood test. The only time I actually did get pregnant, I tested negative with a blood test at 9dpo (I was getting routine blood work before starting Clomid the next month) and I finally got a positive HPT on 18dpo. Of course that one ended in a miscarriage a few days later so it is probably not the best to compare. My thought now is to get a blood test a week from tomorrow, which will be 15 dpo, 14 dpiui.

After reading through this post I can see that the insanity has already set in. This is early for me but I imagine it’s because B will be deploying again in April. Plus he told me this weekend that he has so many TDY’s (military business/training trips) in February and March that he wants me to call the fertility clinic and ask about freezing possibilities. Has anyone done this?

Tagged

I am embarrassed to admit how long ago I was tagged by In Search of Morning Sickness. Better late than never:

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Lifeguard at Big Kahunas water-park
2. Hostess at a restaurant with the unfortunate name of Lucky Snapper (yes, I get the dirty joke in this one too!)
3. Credit Analyst
4. Financial Analyst

Four Movies I have watched more than once:
1. Grease
2. Sound of Music
3. Office Space
4. While You Were Sleeping (and any other cheesy romance or comedy on TBS during rainy weekends)

Four TV shows that I watch faithfully:
1. Scrubs
2. The Office
3. My Name is Earl
4. Dirty Jobs or anything on Discovery/TLC

Four Places I have vacationed:
1. Norway
2. Jamaica
3. St. Martin
4. Smoky Mountains

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Pizza
2. Spaghetti
3. Breakfast foods (any and all!)
4. Anything with cream cheese

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Beach
2. A cozy mountain cabin with my husband
3. Beach
4. My parent’s house (which is at the beach)

Four hobbies I have:
1. Running
2. Reading
3. Skiing
4. Spending time with husband and friends (not sure if this is considered a hobby, but it is something I love to do nonetheless)

I think everyone has already done this - but if you haven’t, consider yourself tagged.

IUI

The IUI is complete! I have to admit the procedure itself was a little anticlimactic. After all of the preparation (peeing on what seemed like hundreds of OPK’s), research, and talking about it with B – the procedure itself seemed pretty dull.

The nurse practioner actually performed the IUI. She was very nice and explained everything to us before she began. B collected 114 million sperm and all of his other percentages where wonderful (I can’t remember the numbers, but she seemed impressed)! B later told me that what she was trying to say was that he should probably be selling the stuff! :)

She began the IUI by telling me that my mucus looked excellent – not really what a husband wants to hear when a lady is examining his wife’s girly parts. B handled it like a trooper though. In less than 5 minutes it was over and she told me that I now had millions and millions of sperm floating around my uterus in a mad dash to find the egg. I hope she was right!

Edited to Add: I forgot to mention the email I got from a good friend about 30 minutes before I left work to meet B at the clinic. She asked if the doctor’s would at least allow me to have drinks with the turkey baster first - to set the mood before the violation. That cracked me up (to the point I almost shot the water I was drinking out my nose!) and totally eased the tension/anxiety I was feeling. B and I truly are blessed to have wonderful friends – while we haven’t told most about the IF, the ones that do know have been so supportive.

Positive OPK!

Praise the Lord, I finally got a positive OPK! I was getting nervous that I missed it – which would be close to impossible since I was taking 2-3 tests a day for the past few days.

We are set for the IUI at 1:00 tomorrow. I am trying not to get my hopes up, but I am pretty excited about trying an IUI versus just the meds. I hope my office will do a blood draw beta check rather than making me wait to get a positive which will be about a week later. Waiting is not my expertise!

Thanks to all the ladies who gave me advice about B’s donation to the IUI cause. My RE nurse confirmed what ya’ll said – 48 hours is ideal.

Mini-Marathon

I decided to sign up for our city mini-marathon in late April. My work has a detailed training program, which is the only way I think I can actually stick to running for 4 months. Every Saturday starting in 2 weeks we will meet at 7:30 in the morning for our long runs (I know, clearly I have lost my mind!). We also run on our own 3 days a week.

I wanted to run it last year but kept thinking I would get pregnant so I never started the training. I explained to the lady in charge about the fertility treatments. She was very encouraging and even said she hopes that by actually signing up for the race this year I end up getting pregnant right away.

I started training this week and I am already sore. I ran 3 miles yesterday and at the end I thought in a few months I will have to run an additional 10 miles! Yikes!

On the IF front - still no sign of ovulating. I think I scared it away. Today is CD 15 so hopefully I will get a positive OPK tomorrow.

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Back to work

... and not necessarily happy to be here! Way too many emails were waiting for me when I returned. We had a pretty hectic holiday, spending 5 days in north Florida with my family and 4 days skiing in Wisconsin. This meant more hours than I can count in the car listening to 7 different NFL channels thanks to Sirius radio. Oy!

We decided to try IUI (aka the turkey baster) this cycle. B refuses to call it anything other than the turkey baster – as in “when do we go in for the turkey baster?” and “how long will the turkey basting take?” He thinks it’s hilarious, but I am pretty sure he is going to have a heart attack when they actually perform said turkey basting. That’s when I will giggle. :)

This is my fourth month on Femara. The last three months I ovulated around day 14-15. B was asking me last night how many days of no sex before the turkey basting. I have a call into my RE to get all of the details. I know many of you ladies have done IUI’s before – can you shed some light? With the semen analysis he was supposed to have 2 days stored up in the boys. But if I won’t know when I am going to ovulate until the day before, how do we make sure the amount of days that are stored up? I read somewhere that if there are too many days stored up, it can have bad results – low motility and morphology.

Oy! I never imagined that these would be questions I had to ask complete strangers (nurse, RE, etc) with a straight face. I definitely checked my dignity at the door of the RE office on my first visit!

Today is CD 12 which means I may be ovulating over the weekend. From what I understand, at my RE clinic you have to arrive at 7:45am bright eyed, bushy tailed, and ready to be inseminated. It is somewhat first come, first serve and there are no set hours – once the last couple is complete they close up shop. B was not happy to hear that he may have to be up early on a weekend morning – even more irked when he realized what he would have to do prior to us leaving for the clinic!

Oh, and before I forget, congrats to Katie and Geohde on their wonderful news!