Deployments suck

I got to talk with B yesterday. We had a wonderfully long – 15-20 minute – conversation. I am lucky in that I get an email or phone call from him every week or so. Sometimes he can only talk for a few minutes, but it is so nice to hear his voice. Towards the end of his last deployment I learned that if I keep a list of things I want to tell him, our conversations are much easier. There is nothing worse than awkward pauses because we both are so excited to talk to each other that neither can think of anything to say.

This time I got to tell him a lot of funny stories – like that our Australian cattle dog, Count, farted so loud he jumped and then sniffed his butt (he alternates between jumping and growling at his butt when he farts!). Or that my brother called my mom this weekend to ask what you should do “if someone eats poop.” They have a miniature wiener dog who apparently left a surprise on the carpet, which my niece promptly put in her mouth. Nobody realized what happened until they went to wipe the “dirt” off of her hands, and it smelled funny. This one had B howling he was laughing so hard. I like conversations like this because I can forget how far away he is. Topics I steer clear from: his scary work/location, my boring work, next steps in our trying to conceive process, news, and celebrity gossip (oddly enough, he is not a fan).

After I got off the phone with B, I was washing dishes (with dishwasher open) when all of the sudden I heard a horrible crash. Turned around and saw Count with the bottom rack of the dishwasher attached to his collar! Somehow while he was licking the silverware - naughty dog! - he got himself attached. I wish I had a video of him running down the stairs to our basement with the bottom rack of our dishwasher “chasing” him while silverware is bouncing off the stairs. Thankfully I had only loaded three plates and miraculously they didn’t break during the chaos. My immediate reaction (after detaching said dishwasher rack) was to pick up the phone and begin dialing B’s cell phone. Then I realized where he was and it felt like the wind got knocked out of me.

This is so not what I pictured married life to be like. Not that I thought it was going to be all roses and butterflies – but I never expected to be alone half of our first 2 years of marriage, dealing with the reality of B’s job, and struggling to get pregnant. Poo, I just miss him so much.