I should start off by saying that I started my period on Tuesday. Sucked big time! I was able to get to the RE's office on Monday for bloodwork, which of course came back negative. I feel like such a dumbass taking the wrong freaking test! Oh well, I am blaming our tiny dark bathroom for the mix-up and not myself. :) I wish I didn't wake B up to show him though. Now he will never believe another pregnancy test - even though I tried explaining the mix-up to him.

I did get to talk with my RE on Tuesday. He wants me to do at least another round of just the Femara and then try an IUI when I am ready. Now that B will be deploying in April, I am definitely ready to try the IUI sooner rather than later.

I started taking the Femera last night - damn the hot flashes are bad this time. We actually had our window open (in Boston!) last night and it was still too hot for me. I am even sweating now! Hopefully it won't be too bad for our 14 hour car ride home. Yikes!

I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving! I can't wait to catch up on all my blogs.

Frick!

I don’t know what to think. Today is CD 17. This morning I tested, but I accidentally used an OPK instead of an HPT – except I didn’t realize it at the time. So when a light second line appeared, I was so excited. I even woke B up and had him look at it to make sure he saw the line too. While I was getting ready for work (hands shaking from excitement, of course) I noticed that the brand of test was Clear Blue, which is not the brand of HPT tests I had in the house. That is when I realized my error. I started thinking about all the threads on baby center about OPK’s being used as HPT’s, so I thought maybe I was okay. I stopped by the store this morning and bought three different brands of HPT’s – all BFN.

My temperature dropped a little yesterday (from 98.26 to 98.10) so I assumed AF was coming today. My temp this morning was 98.17, which is the only reason I tested - my chart. If AF comes tomorrow I am going to be so disappointed. We are driving to Boston tomorrow to spend Thanksgiving with B’s family. It is going to be hard for me not to think about last year when we were driving to Florida to visit my family while I was miscarrying.

I am thinking about calling the RE’s office and saying I saw a light second line so I can come in for a blood test. Since we will be out of town all week going today will at least give me a concrete answer, right?

Ladybug

Yesterday afternoon I looked down at my desk and saw a ladybug crawling in front of my keyboard. Now I work on the third floor in an internal cube – i.e. I have to walk outside of my cube and down the hall to even see a window, which you can’t open anyways. I have no idea how this poor gal got to my cube, but I decided to take it as a sign of good luck.

And seeing as how I was looking at her arrival as good luck, it occurred to me that she would most likely die if I didn’t escort her out of my building. Can’t bring me good luck if she’s dead, right? So I securely placed her in a tissue, walked her down the steps and out the door. Hopefully she flew away with positive thoughts about her rescuer (me) and bestows good luck on me (a BFP!).

Yes, I have crossed over into crazy land – but it sure is nice here! Testing tomorrow…

Congratulations to Amy! Her son, Carter, was born at 3:46 this morning. Yay for Amy, Chris, and Carter!!

BFN

Yes, I took the test ridiculously early and so it was no surprise that it was a BFN. Today is CD 12. Since I don’t get AF until at the earliest CD 17 and at the latest CD 21, I am not too upset. Dollar Trees around here don’t carry pregnancy tests and I didn’t order any cheap internet tests on purpose - so I didn’t obsess. Isn’t that hilarious? Oh well, at least I can admit that I am a POAS addict.

I am vowing not to take another test until at the earliest Saturday, which will be CD 15. I would like to wait longer, but we’ll see. With 3 pregnancy tests just waiting for me in the cabinet, it will be hard to wait much longer.

As it turns out, I am a big fat liar! I said it was way too early to test so I wasn’t even going to think about testing for a while. Well this morning when I was inputting today’s temp into FF, I noticed that tomorrow is 5 days before AF is forecasted due. And how many days before AF is First Response early pregnancy test supposed to detect pregnancy – 5 days! Coincidence? I think not! I know that some people don’t produce enough hormone that early and that it is most likely setting myself up for disappointment – but damn if I didn’t pull up a spreadsheet to figure out how much money I should spend and how many tests to buy. I was in a meeting so it at least made me look busy! I saw First Response was on sale at Walgreens, which I took as another reason that I should go ahead and buy/test early. Yes, I have a problem.

On a completely different subject, I volunteered with Habitat for Humanity last week. What a wonderful and rewarding experience. Plus they let me be in charge of cutting things with the circular saw! I don’t think my husband believed me, but my friend just sent proof:


Can you tell I was enjoying the power?!

I'm back!

I have been so slammed at work this past week that I have neglected my blog and have had no time to read other blogs. Even though I’ve only been in the blog world for a few months, I felt so disconnected being out of the loop for a week!

B dropped a big bomb on me last week – he may be deploying again in April. With his job, the majority of the deployments are voluntary. If I get pregnant this cycle, he would be gone from 6 to 8 ½ months! He thought this was perfect timing because he would be home in time for the birth. Keep in mind this is a voluntary deployment. I would completely understand if it was a typical deployment (i.e. he gets called up, he deploys, no questions asked) although I would still be very disappointed.

I finally convinced him that it would be very hard on me for him to be gone that late in pregnancy – especially with our closest family 7 hours away. He then asked if it would be okay for him to deploy if I didn’t get pregnant this cycle. Even though I wanted to tell him no, I know that I can’t continue to play the “what if” game in regards to pregnancy. I’ve been playing it too long and it just gets old after a while. So if I don’t get pregnant this cycle, he will most likely deploy in April.

I think the reason that I’m not too upset about this is because I really feel like this cycle will work. I am 10 DPO today. Unfortunately my luteal phase ranges from 17-21 days, so I still have a while before I can test. I should find out if I am pregnant on almost exactly the same day as when I got the positive pregnancy test last November! Does time of year have anything to do with fertility?

So far my chart looks pretty good but I know only time will tell. I should be pretty busy at work this week so hopefully I can keep my mind off of testing for a while longer!

Waiting game

It should be no surprise that B was ecstatic over his s/a results. He couldn’t believe his total was 90 million because he said there wasn’t much too test. I feel really good about our chances this cycle. I ovulated on Friday and we were able to squeeze in some loving on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, even with mother-in-law downstairs.

I say I ovulated Friday because of my temps, but I never got a good positive OPK. There was no line on Thursday, a light line on Friday when I tested at 7:30 pm, a darker, but still light, line on Saturday when I tested at 6:00 pm, and no line on Sunday. Hopefully we timed everything okay. I would have liked to start the love-fest on Thursday, but B was way too exhausted from his stressful day of “wanking” (his words, obviously).

All in all the weekend with his mom and her boyfriend went well. B is from Boston and his entire family, except us, still lives there. With the Red Sox winning the World Series and the Pats winning last night – all was good. B’s fantasy football team even won yesterday!

Now we are at the dreaded 2ww. Bleh. I hate this part of the cycle.

Weekend

Update: No lotion contamination!! Yay! The RE nurse just called to tell me that his totals were 90 million, and that anything above 20 million was good. I have a feeling there will be a significant amount of high-fiving and who’s the man type comments going on at my home this evening. Hopefully this news will result in some good feelings for the upcoming “doing it Olympics” as he likes to call the on-demand sex around ovulation.

Yesterday was B’s semen analysis. Boy was that a big fat pain in my ass. The whole process was stressing him out – how gross it was to be in a room were only s/a’s were performed, how unnatural it was to do it without lube, etc. He ended up doing it at home and unfortunately ended up using some lube (hand lotion). Not to be too graphic, but he says he kept the lotion away from the container and away from the end of his member. Does anyone else have a husband with this problem? I really hope the lotion doesn’t end up screwing the results. He swears he tried for thirty minutes – making himself raw and damn near starting a fire. Earlier in the week I offered to come home to “help” but he didn’t think he would need any.

We were supposed to find out the results yesterday, but they never called. I called today and the only nurse that can give results is at the IVF clinic until this afternoon. I have serious doubts that we will find out before this weekend.

Speaking of this weekend, the in-laws are coming to visit and I am supposed to ovulate. Seriously, what kind of crap timing is that? B’s mom and her boyfriend should be in town sometime today. We don’t know when because they have stopped off at a casino or two on their way down from New England. I got a very light second line on my OPK yesterday, so I am guessing today (CD 14) or tomorrow will be the day.

Nothing says DO ME NOW more than having your freaking mom 20 feet away – poor guy. If the s/a stressed him out, this will probably push him over the edge!