Over

Thanks for the concern - I really appreciate the support. I started bleeding yesterday afternoon. The ob's office called today to tell me that the pregnancy is not viable. After finding out I already started bleeding they asked me to come in later this week for another blood test to make sure my number goes back to zero. Awesome.

I took another test this morning. This one was negative. I wonder when I will start bleeding. I am on day cd 48.

Confusion

I went to the doctor today to find out for sure if I am pregnant. Even though I have had four positive tests I was still nervous. Turns out I had good reason to be nervous - the pee test at the clinic came back negative...twice. They did a blood test and just called me with the result. She said my HCG is 15 - and congratulated me. Isn't this bad news? I assume she was giving me my beta. My beta at 18 dpo when I miscarried was 14. My beta at 14 dpiui with Grace was 211. I have no idea when I ovulated, but I still don't think a 15 sounds like reason to celebrate.


This was not my ob/gyn office, it was our crappy military clinic that I have to go in order to get a referral to my ob/gyn. I was pretty upset when I got the negative at the clinic, and given my history they were nice enough to give me a referral to see my regular dr this afternoon. The ob/gyn office also took bloodwork which won't be back until Monday. I am not feeling optimistic.

Car seats and more

We are now in the market for the next stage of car seats. We have narrowed it down to a Britax – either the Marathon or Boulevard. They are so freaking expensive! I’ve found a few places online to get them cheaper, but still expensive. Oy!

Grace is still well below the limits of her infant seat, but we will be driving to Boston in a few weeks and I thought she might be more comfortable in the bigger seat. Not sure it will make much of a difference to her, but will make me feel better about having her in it for so long!

In other news, my contract at work is expiring at the end of the month. After about a month of working full-time I decided I couldn’t handle it. Grace goes to sleep around 7-7:30, so I only got to spend an hour or two with her each night. Plus my husband is out of town about 50% of the year, which just made things tougher. I know people do it every day and my hat is off to them! My work has been great and offered me part-time on a 6 month contract. My boss says he still needs me based on workload, but has to go up two levels in the chain of command to get it approved. I should be finding out any day now. Keeping my fingers crossed – I am going with the ‘no news, is good news’ mindset.

And in still other news – I finally got my period at the end of May. The 16 months or so of no period was glorious! I still have not gotten period #2. My cycles were long and irregular in the past – at least 40 days. I realized that Sunday was day 41 and since I had a leftover pregnancy test and I love to pee on sticks, I decided to take a test. Negative. I repeated this insanity yesterday and had a VERY faint line resembling an absorption line. I thought I checked it in the right amount of time, but I couldn’t be certain. I promised myself I would wait to test again until at least Thursday…until this morning when I tested again. And again got a VERY faint line. This time I know I checked at the 2 minute mark. The line is no darker than yesterday and all but disappears when I fully extend my arm away from my face. So a foot away from my face I can see a faint line and 2+ feet away from my face (yes, I have very long arms) I can no longer see the line.

I have no idea what to think, so I am pretending nothing has happened since in reality no sane person would think anything really has happened. I haven’t even told my husband because there is no reason to get his hopes up if it turns out to be nothing. Long story short – I have three tests left and I am going to try to hold off on taking them for a few days.

MIA

If there was an award for the worst blogger of the year, I would probably get it. I have become the dreaded blogger who doesn’t update once the baby is born.
I doubt there is anyone out there who will check back in with me after 8 months of being MIA – but just in case I wanted to update.

Grace is truly the light of my life. She is almost 9 months old and is crawling all over the place. I can’t believe she has been in our lives for this long…it seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant.

This community gave me so much support during our TTC journey – I definitely would not have gotten through the process without it, at least not with my sanity. I still read your blogs all of the time, although I am about as good of a commentor as I am blog updater.

I have tossed around the idea of starting a family/baby blog – I feel a bit uncomfortable using this blog (which I started solely as an outlet for my IF problems) as a baby blog. Of course I will probably be just as crappy at updating there as I am here so I am not so sure. When/if I start a baby blog I will post a link for anyone interested.

Here are some pictures of Grace. She sure has changed since the last time I posted pictures!

Showing off her new teeth!


At her baptism


Playing in the pool with Molly:

My mom was in town all last week and it was wonderful! Grace has a very fussy period during the evening so having another pair of hands around was very helpful. She is sleeping pretty well at night thanks to this - it truly has been a miracle for us! She is sleeping about three hours before waking up at night and for the most part I can get her to go back to sleep after nursing during the night. Although last night she was wide awake after our 3am feeding!

Yesterday was my first real day alone! B left for out of town training yesterday morning and will be back on Friday. My pediatrician suggested trying gripe water to help with her fussy times (which at times can be most of the day!) I don't know if it was the gripe water or her being exhausted from screaming most of the day Sunday - but yesterday went pretty well. She was only fussy from 8-10:30 last night.

My mother-in-law comes into town today to help for the rest of the week. I am so grateful for all of the help! I don't know how I am going to do it when B deploys.

Home Alone

Yesterday was B's first day back to work. The day went pretty well - I even got a shower and a walk at the park in. Today has been a little more challenging but I have a sleeping baby now (even if it took an hour car ride to get her there!) so I am happy.

Has anyone ever heard of getting vertigo after delivery? Last Friday - a week and a half after Grace was born - I thought I was coming down with a stomach virus with upset stomach, dizziness, etc. I called the doctor and they confirmed a stomach virus going around and I was more susceptible because of being post partum. That night the dizziness got so bad I fell several times - which scared the hell out of B and I. Now the dizziness stayed and the other symptoms have pretty much gone away. I am not dizzy every day but when I am, I can't shake it. I am hoping this is just a hormonal issue that will work its way out versus actual vertigo which from what I understand has no cause or cure. Awesome.

If anyone has any advice on the vertigo I would love to hear it. Thanks!