I'm back - again

I feel like I am always apologizing for my lack of blogging. Things have been going very well with the pregnancy. Our baby girl is continuing to grow – and so is her momma! Every time I start writing a post it seems to end up going in the same direction – me whining about missing my husband or worrying that something is going to happen to him while he is deployed.

I know this is ridiculous, but I didn’t want to actually put those words out there out of fear that it would jinx us and something would actually happen to him. I am going to chalk that one up to pregnancy hormones, even though if I am honest with myself I would probably do the same thing if I wasn’t pregnant. Towards the end of his deployments I always get so worried. Now my worries are doubled.

In my rational moments – and I promise I do have them – I know everything will be okay, that he will be home soon safe and sound. It is just hard to imagine him back at home. So much has changed in the few months he has been gone. I worry about him being overwhelmed when he comes home. I also worry, as any woman probably would, about what he is going to think when he sees me. It’s not that I think I look bad or that my husband is shallow. It’s just that I have changed so much and I just wonder how it is all going to work. I have been sending him pictures of my belly along the way so he won’t be too shocked. But he has said even seeing the pictures it is hard to imagine what it will actually be like to see me in person.

He should be home in the next few weeks. I am nervous and also very, very excited to see him. I can’t wait for him to feel our baby kicking!

I also feel like I am always saying this – but I am keeping up with everyone’s blogs. I may be a few days beyond at time as I’ve been swamped at work, but I am still keeping up.

21 weeks

I had my last appointment at the high risk doctor. We graduated back to my regular OB! Yay! Baby girl’s heart looked beautiful. I was just in awe watching the screen. She weighs 14 oz and was squirming around like a mad-woman. I still haven’t felt her move yet, but I know it will be happening sometime soon and can’t wait.

They even switched over to 3D to take some pictures for my husband. I thought that was really sweet and B definitely enjoyed them. He called this morning right after I scanned the pictures so I was able to listen to his reaction when he opened them.

Now I just need to get him back home! Less than 2 months to go!

Here is a picture from the ultrasound:


And one of me at 21 weeks. B requested an updated belly picture and promptly called to ask me if I was sticking out my gut. My reply: No jackass, that is the way my belly actually looks. :) Serious hole-digging-out immediately followed.

Our dog wanted to show off his profile too. You can't see the other dog - she is hiding behind the big dog, but is also showing her profile.

Results - Part II

The amnio came back completely normal. And she is still a little girl! For some reason I kept thinking they were going to tell me that she was a boy. Not sure why because I don’t have any maternal instincts telling me that she is a he. I just thought boy because my husband is the oldest of 4 kids – 3 of which are boys – and all of his cousins are boys.

We are just happy to finally know. That wait took forever – or at least it felt like it did! I was so relieved to finally be able to tell B that I heard from the doctor. I was scared that he might not be paying complete attention to what he was doing if the test was weighing on his mind.

Thanks again for all of the support!

My mom and I completed our first mini-marathon last weekend! It took us 3 hours and 3 minutes. Rain was forecasted but it held off and the overcast sky helped keep the temperature down. All in all it was a great day and I am really proud that we finished.

This is a picture of us at the finish line. My mom thinks it looks like we are toasting our bananas. :)


And here are the pictures from my ultrasound last week:

Profile shot:


It’s a Girl:



5 toes:



It should only be a week until I get the results back from the amnio.

It's a ...

GIRL! B was right and I was wrong. So much for mother's intuition. :)

The Level II showed no physical abnormalities and showed a beautiful, but very squirmy, girl with 10 fingers and 10 toes (they counted!). There was a spot on her heart which required an amnio. They want to see me back in 4 weeks to make sure everything is still progressing well. From what I understand the spot is a marker for Downs, but is not something that will affect the baby (Downs or not) and will not require any type of medical attention. For this we are very relieved.

I will post pictures of our precious little girl tomorrow. Thanks again for all of the support!

Appointment Scheduled

First of all I want to thank everyone for your support. It really does means a lot to me. The appointment is scheduled for Thursday at 10 and will include a Level II ultrasound, doctor consultation and amniocentesis, if I chose this option. I honestly have no idea what to do about the amniocentesis – B wants me to get it so that we can know for sure and we can be prepared (my doctor says the ultrasound will only cut our chances by 50%). He told me he will be fine with whatever I chose after hearing the risks and recommendations of the specialist. This is when deployment really sucks. We are very blessed that we are able to talk and email on a frequent basis – but he can’t be here to listen to all the information and help make decisions.

I am starting to feel overwhelmed. Not with this situation, but just in general. I know I am not even halfway through the pregnancy but I already feel behind. I haven’t even begun to look at daycares or at cribs or carseats or anything else. This is just not like me. I am a financial analyst so organization and spreadsheets are in my blood! For anything else I would already have spreadsheets made of all things baby – complete with pros and cons and con.sumer re.port information. But I have zilch. And B doesn’t get back from deployment until mid-July, when I will be freaking 28 weeks so obviously I can’t wait for him. Oy!

I realize that in the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal at all. But given the appointment on Thursday and the deployment, this is what I am choosing to focus on right now. You think I would choose to focus on something more pleasant – and I really am focusing on those things like how much I love being pregnant and watching my belly grow and how much I am looking forward to my parents visit – but this crap is just nagging the hell out of me. Okay, I think I am down with my rant now. :)

Results

My triple test screening came back abnormal. The doctor called with the news yesterday. It is never good to hear a doctor’s voice on the phone - the nurse originally told me “no news is good news” and instructed me to call in a week to get my results. Based on the test our baby has a 1 and 19 chance of having Downs Syndrome. I understand that there are a lot of false positives – my doctor even stressed that fact several times on the phone. I also understand that while a 1 and 19 chance sounds high (the “abnormal” range begins at 1 and 270) the actual math tells me that the chance is only 5%, and that is IF the test is not a false positive to begin with.

All that being said, hearing the news was very scary for me. I am waiting for the specialist’s office to call to schedule the Level II ultrasound and consult. My parents are going to come up from Florida to be with me so at least I won’t be alone. B is having a hard time being so far away and not being able to physically be here with me while we wait. We are not as scared about having a Downs diagnosis, we just want to hear that everything is okay with the baby (in our eyes “okay” includes receiving a Downs diagnosis).

I told B that I decided to look at this as having another peek at our baby – maybe finding the sex out earlier than planned and seeing if the baby has 5 or 6 fingers / toes on each hand / foot (B’s family has at least one child in each generation born with an extra digit!). He agreed that we need to stay positive – now I need to focus on putting this into action!

I know that I will have a Level II ultrasound at the appointment and that they will discuss the results and most likely recommend an amniosintesis. Can anyone give me advice on what to expect at the appointment?