I feel like I am always apologizing for my lack of blogging. Things have been going very well with the pregnancy. Our baby girl is continuing to grow – and so is her momma! Every time I start writing a post it seems to end up going in the same direction – me whining about missing my husband or worrying that something is going to happen to him while he is deployed.
I know this is ridiculous, but I didn’t want to actually put those words out there out of fear that it would jinx us and something would actually happen to him. I am going to chalk that one up to pregnancy hormones, even though if I am honest with myself I would probably do the same thing if I wasn’t pregnant. Towards the end of his deployments I always get so worried. Now my worries are doubled.
In my rational moments – and I promise I do have them – I know everything will be okay, that he will be home soon safe and sound. It is just hard to imagine him back at home. So much has changed in the few months he has been gone. I worry about him being overwhelmed when he comes home. I also worry, as any woman probably would, about what he is going to think when he sees me. It’s not that I think I look bad or that my husband is shallow. It’s just that I have changed so much and I just wonder how it is all going to work. I have been sending him pictures of my belly along the way so he won’t be too shocked. But he has said even seeing the pictures it is hard to imagine what it will actually be like to see me in person.
He should be home in the next few weeks. I am nervous and also very, very excited to see him. I can’t wait for him to feel our baby kicking!
I also feel like I am always saying this – but I am keeping up with everyone’s blogs. I may be a few days beyond at time as I’ve been swamped at work, but I am still keeping up.
Friday, June 27, 2008
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